A little old lady answered a knock on the door one day, and was confronted by a well-dressed jerry carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning," said jerry. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I'm BROKE! I haven't got any money!" She proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, JERRY wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
The old lady stepped back and said, "Well, I hope you've got a damn good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of BROKE don't you understand?
To leave the old with a burst of song; To recall the right and forgive the wrong; To forget the things that bind you fast; To the vain regrets of the year that's past; To have the strength to let go your hold Of the not worth while of the days grown old; To dare go forth with a purpose true, To the unknown task of the year that's new; To help your brother along the road, To assist with his work and lift his load; To add your gift to the world's good cheer, Is to have and to give a Happy New Year.
I WISH FOR YOU… Comfort on difficult days, Smiles when sadness intrudes, Rainbows to follow the clouds, Laughter to kiss your lips, Sunsets to warm your heart Gentle hugs when spirits sag, Friendships to brighten your being, Beauty for your eyes to see, Confidence for when you doubt, Faith so that you can believe, Courage to know yourself, Patience to accept the truth, And love to complete your life. God Bless you!
your love is ur heart, your heart is ur spouse, your spouse is ur future, your future is ur destiny, your destiny is ur ambition, your ambition is ur aspiration, your aspiration is ur motivation, your motivation is ur believe, your believe is ur peace, your peace is ur target, your target is heaven, heaven is like hell without FRIENDS. It's "world best friends week" send this to all ur good friends. Even me, if i am one of them. See how many u get back. If u gets more than 3 u r really a lovable person.............i am waiting
"Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming,
English
"Good morning," said jerry. "If I could take a couple of minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old lady. "I'm BROKE! I haven't got any money!" She proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, JERRY wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" he said. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that, he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet. "If this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse shit from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
The old lady stepped back and said, "Well, I hope you've got a damn good appetite, because they cut off my electricity this morning. What part of BROKE don't you understand?